Carjack My Heart
by Gleefully Wicked
Summary: AU. Wednesday has been lying to her family for years. When she almost has to confess to these lies, she finds a solution. Wednesday/Lucas Musicalverse. Rating may change. Title based on the song by Dance Movie.
1. Last Spree For The Crime

**Author's note: ****I should have known that no Christina Ricci marathon with my brother can ever be as simple as watching a bunch of movies. This was inspired by the movie **_**Buffalo '66**_**. If you've seen it, you'll recognize a few similarities. This is very AU musicalverse. **

**I do not own the Addams Family or Lucas. They're the property of Charles Addams and Andrew Lippa respectively.**

A black 1957 Chevy Bel-Air swerved recklessly through traffic on the freeway, earning several honks and middle fingers. However, the driver was far too preoccupied with her own thoughts to notice.

"I can't do this! I can't do this!" She screamed at herself. Her normally perfectly in place short, black hair was incredibly disheveled from her tugging at it, her eyes were bugged out, she was hyperventilating, and her heart was practically pounding out of her chest. She was the perfect picture of a madwoman. She turned into the nearest exit, it went down to a town named Willard, Ohio. Her mood was not lightened by the fact that she was in America's sweet state but she didn't think she could drive another mile without smashing into the nearest gasoline tanker. She didn't think that would be too bad at the time, though.

She sped through the streets of the small town, nearly scaring to death a few senior citizens who thought greaser gangs were making a comeback. She pulled into the parking lot of what appeared to be a sad excuse for a shopping mall. As soon as she parked, a loud crash followed by a huge stream of smoke came from under the hood of her car.

She took a deep breath through her nose before flinging the door open, jumping out of the car and then slamming the door so hard the original window shattered. She screamed in frustration before kicking the door as hard as she could, leaving a very noticeable dent. She ignored the pain before repeating the violent act against her car again and again until the inside of her combat boot was wet with her blood.

She once again thought about ending it all. One shard of glass from the window would do it. Not even Addamses can avoid bleeding to death. Dying would have to be better than what was to come. When she went home and her parents learned that she had been lying to them about almost everything for the past four years. Yes, she would rather die. Although she always thought she would die with a little more dignity than suicide in a parking lot in Podunk, Ohio. She had just picked up a big enough shard when a buzzing in her jeans pocket brought her back to reality. She actually growled before hesitantly pushing the green answer button on her phone.

"Hello?" she answered in an attempt to make her voice sound as it usually did.

"Hello, Wednesday." Her mother's aristocratic voice replied. The voice that normally would comfort her now caused her even more distress. "Your father wants to know where you are." Morticia said. Wednesday grabbed a handful of her own hair again.

"About eight hours away. We should be there by midnight." Wednesday lied.

"Excellent. Pugsley and Pubert can't wait to see you. We're also very excited to meet him." Wednesday considered slitting her wrists right then and there. Wednesday didn't notice a young man walking out of the mall.

"Yes, he's excited to meet you all too." She didn't understand why she was still keeping up this charade. Either she would face her family in a lot more than eight hours (after she had her car fixed) and they'd know the truth, or she'd be dead. She was still counting on the latter.

"Oh and make sure he knows that your father and Pugsley have decided to kill him when you get here." Wednesday refused the urge to giggle like the lunatic she was quickly becoming. The young man walked past Wednesday's car. He stopped for just one second to see the huge dents Wednesday had left on the classic car but then continued walking.

"I have to go now mother, I'll see you soon." Wednesday said.

"Alright. I just thought I would give you a fair warning." Morticia hung up the phone. With a shaky hand, Wednesday put her phone back in her pocket. She looked around in all directions. The only people in the parking lot were her and the boy walking to his car.

Wednesday at first didn't realize why she was walking towards the boy. It seemed as though her mind was telling the rest of her body that he was the solution to her problem. Wednesday must have been very quiet because the boy didn't notice her coming until she was just two steps behind him. Without another thought, Wednesday lunged at him. She wrapped one arm around his chest making it difficult for him to move his arms and she held her other hand firmly over his mouth. He struggled against her but her Addams strength allowed her to hold on to him. He then tried screaming.

"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up." Wednesday repeated threateningly. She forced him to take a step forward towards his own car just a few empty spaces away. This was not an easy feat since the boy was at least five inches taller than herself and somewhat muscular despite his skinny appearance.

"Cooperate with me or I swear, I will choke you death right here." Wednesday said. She meant it and the boy realized this so he allowed himself to be dragged over to his own car, a navy blue Honda SUV. "I can't drive this car." Wednesday stated before opening the drivers side and forcing the boy to get in.

"I'm going to be back in one minute. In the sixty seconds that I'm gone, you are not to move or make a single sound. In fact you're going to put your hands up here on the dash-" She forced the boy to put his hands down flat on the dashboard. "And not twitch a single finger. If you do, you die." The boy didn't say anything.

Wednesday ran back to her car and opened the trunk. From it she took her black duffle bag (containing her clothes and other necessary items), and her trusty crossbow. She hadn't fired a single shot from it in over four years but she still knew perfectly well how to use it. She noticed teeth marks on her hand. If the boy had tried biting her, he hadn't done too good of a job. He didn't even break the skin. She shook her head and returned to the boy. His hands were in the exact place they'd been before.

"Good. You follow orders." Wednesday said as she put her things in the back. She made sure the boy saw the crossbow. His eyes widened, but again, he didn't say anything. Wednesday was satisfied with this. She got into the passenger seat. "Start the car and get onto the freeway." She ordered. He again did as he was told.

The boy continued to do everything Wednesday told him to do. The pair were completely silent for nearly two hours on the freeway.

"What's your name?" Wednesday broke the silence, slightly startling the boy.

"Lucas." he replied almost inaudibly.

"Lucas, I need you to do something for me." Wednesday said. She seemed as though she'd calmed down considerably. "I need you to be my husband."

**I hope you all enjoyed it. Please review even if you think it needs work. Creative criticism is good.**


	2. So Take Your Time

**Author's note: **

**Hey everyone! I hope you all had a nice Christmas(or Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or whatever you happen to celebrate). I managed to escape with at least a scrap of sanity, an abundance of Addams Family Musical merchandise, and a Wednesday Madame Alexander doll that my OLDER sister is terrified of, so I think it was a good year. However, I'm going to be grieving the loss of the musical in four days so I probably won't be able to say the same thing then.**

**But anywho, I've decided to continue this story because the plot bunnies have made it very easy to write(unlike TDDH which makes me Google psychiatric terms every other paragraph). Speaking of which, The Deep Dark Hole should be updated some time tomorrow(or I guess, today since it's after midnight) if I don't procrastinate too much.**

**To clear a few things up, everyone in this story is about four years older than they are in the musical, so Wednesday and Lucas are both around twenty-two years old. Because of this, this story could be considered a 'What If?' story as well as an AU. The what if would be, "What if Lucas had never gone to college in New York and met Wednesday in Central Park?" Also, I'm going to touch more on Lucas' problems with Mal that we kind of get in the musical. I'm mainly doing this because of a conversation I had with my brother about **_**Buffalo '66**_** and what led Christina Ricci's character, Layla, to fall in love with her seemingly unlovable kidnapper, Billy. We basically came to the conclusion that she obviously has some problems of her own but it's never actually said in the movie. So I'm going to make it more clear in Lucas' case.**

**Sorry for the long author's note. If you're still with me, the chapter is below.**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own The Addams Family. I only own two DVDs, a CD, three books, a t-shirt, a poster, a program, a doll, and a few illegal bootlegs. ****

"You want me to MARRY you?" Lucas asked in utter disbelief.

"Uh, no. I want you to act like we've been married for almost a year." Wednesday corrected him. "I don't actually want to be married to you or to anyone else for that matter." she added.

"So why do we have to act like we're married?" Lucas asked. He didn't really understand why he was even talking to this crazy person. He wasn't going to do any favors for the person who kidnapped him and was forcing him to drive his car all the way to New York. As soon as he was given the opportunity, he was going to either escape or call for help.

"My parents think I've been traveling around the world for the past four years looking for ancient devices of torture." If she was joking, her face didn't say so.

"And I take it that's not the case?" Lucas asked her. He thought that maybe he could talk her down and convince her to let him go if he was on her good side.

"No, it's not." she crossed her arms and sighed in boredom. If she regretted kidnapping Lucas, she was showing no obvious signs. Lucas' plan wouldn't work. His only other option was to escape. Almost all of those things on the news about kidnapped little girls getting out of those situations alive involved them escaping somehow.

"I have to go to the bathroom." Lucas announced. He was lying.

"Thanks for sharing, but we're not stopping." Wednesday replied instantly.

"I have to stop. If I hold it in, I could get a urinary tract infection." Lucas stated.

"Sexy." Wednesday retorted sarcastically. Lucas gripped the steering wheel tighter. He had to get the crazy girl to let him stop at a rest stop. From there he would go into the men's room and call for help on his cell phone. He couldn't help but think that his captor was slightly ignorant for not taking it away from him in the first place.

"I really have to go. You at least owe me a bathroom break considering the circumstances of us taking this road trip together." Lucas pleaded and attempted to play the guilt card.

"I don't owe you a single thing. But I suppose If you really need to relieve yourself, you can pull over right up there." she pointed to the side of the road up ahead.

"There's no rest area up there." Lucas said even though he was pretty sure he knew where this was going.

"You're as far as I know, anatomically male. You can pee on a tree." Wednesday said bluntly. Lucas sighed and pulled over. He would have to think fast. The only way he could escape this way was to run as fast as he could into the woods at the side of the road and hope he could get away. He opened the door hesitantly in case his deranged travel mate changed her mind suddenly.

"Don't take too long. I'm on a tight schedule." she told him. Lucas got out of the car and started walking towards the trees. With his back turned to the girl, he managed to fake unzipping his fly and silently prepared himself to run at speeds track stars would be jealous of.

He was about to make a run for it when he heard his car's electric window roll down. He expected the girl's demanding, yet beautiful voice to shout something, but there were no sounds but a few cars speeding past on the freeway. He could feel eyes on him like lasers. He wouldn't have much time to run. He looked over his shoulder to give the girl a reassuring look but instead, his eyes met the end of the crossbow she'd laid on the backseat earlier, currently aimed at his head.

"Just a precaution." she called. Lucas could feel his knees shake. The last weapon he'd had pointed at him was his cousin's air-soft gun and that had ended with him getting his cheek shot with a plastic bee bee. The girl's crossbow would most definitely do more damage than a tiny, red mark. Escape would be impossible. The moment he would start to retreat, an arrow would impale him. He had no choice but to turn around and walk back to the car. The girl pulled her weapon back into the car and rolled up the window as Lucas got back into the drivers seat. He pulled back onto the freeway without a word to the kidnapping girl. There was another hour of complete silence.

Lucas tried to focus solely on driving during this time, but found his mind wandering to other things. Mainly, what his father would say when he found out that his son allowed himself to be kidnapped (and by a girl, no less!). His father's disappointment in him was no secret, but Lucas never liked it when he knew the exact causes. These instances usually led to him doing things that made his father happy, but made Lucas feel like his hopes and dreams were being burned in the fireplace. Things like quitting the school newspaper to play baseball, or switching his college major from literature to architecture.

Luckily, Lucas had his mother for a saving grace. Like him, she was also a poet. She was the one that put his A+ essays on the fridge and listened to his poems. She was the one that comforted him whenever he was told he wasn't a blonde cheerleader's 'type'. Honestly, Lucas was even more saddened by what he knew his mother's reaction would be to his kidnapping than his father's. She would be more than frantic. It would be worse than the time Lucas had decided to 'run away' when he was seven and had gotten two blocks away from his house, only to be caught by his crying mother. She was the only reason why he was doing everything he could to not get killed by his captor.

Just as they'd crossed into Pennsylvania, Lucas caught himself glancing over at her every once in a while. She sat with her arms crossed as she looked straight ahead, her face expressionless. He couldn't deny that she possessed a unique form of beauty. Her skin was so pale she could have been one of those screwball, sparkling vampires that twelve year old girls were obsessed with, but she somehow pulled it off. And her big, brown eyes were really pretty once he saw past the crazed look in them.

"Would you please stop staring at me and watch the road. I'm not looking forward to seeing my parents, but I'd rather not die in a Honda." The girl said to Lucas without turning her head to look at him.

"Sorry." Lucas apologized and tried paying more attention to the road. After a few minutes though, he couldn't keep his mouth shut anymore. "What's your name?" he asked. "I mean, if you want me to be your fake husband, I should at least know your name." He knew the girl couldn't argue his logic.

"Wednesday." She replied.

"Interesting. I pegged you as a Britney." Lucas joked. Wednesday ignored this.

"Are you familiar with the poem, Monday's Child?" She asked.

"Wednesday's child is full of woe." Lucas quoted. "It fits you. Well, the original version that is. If your parents were going off of the 1887 version, your name should have been Friday." he added.

"Friday is my middle name." Wednesday admitted. "You clearly like poetry." She seemed to be acting warmer towards Lucas. This confused him but he decided to go with it.

"I do. I actually considered writing it for a living a few years back." Lucas said. It pained him slightly to remember his early college dreams. The fact that he was now going to New York, the very city he'd always dreamed of going to, against his will, didn't help this.

"Why didn't you?" Wednesday asked. Lucas shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess I realized it would have been impractical. I mean, my mom writes poetry, but she doesn't work." He attempted to explain. Wednesday nodded, completely understanding him.

"Do you mind if I explain that for you?" She asked.

"Be my guest."

"You love writing and your mother probably encouraged it. Your father strongly disapproved even though he's too caught up in his own work to notice anything else. He probably owns a business that he wants you to take over so there's clearly no room for writing. Thus, the reason why you still live in Willard, Ohio even though you hate it." She said all of this in her normal monotone. Lucas felt his jaw involuntarily drop. "Was I close?" She asked.

"Do you have ESP?" Lucas asked. Wednesday smirked

**Good? Bad? Review either way.**


	3. Pretend You're Mine

**Author's note:**

**Yes I know I should have updated my other story a few days ago, but I could not for the life of me. Lets just say I've been in a state of Wednesday/Lucas fangirling for about two days after listening to As We're Slowly Dying in the first Addams Family preview. I'm also incredibly depressed because the musical played its closing performance at 2 pm today. Luckily the tour is still going, but still, I'm sad. So I feel like writing Wednesday/Lucas right now instead of Wednesday in therapy.**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, The Addams Family? Don't own them. In fact, they were created fifty-six years before I was born.**

Wednesday started to realize that her plan would never work. Lucas was far too squeamish to survive a few days with her family. He would probably have to be rushed to a poison control center after one of her father's famous cocktails and then, not only would her parents question her "husband" and his horrible qualities and weaknesses, but it would also lead them to wonder what could have possibly come over their daughter to marry someone so scarily ordinary. And then she'd be screwed.

There was no way she was backing out now, though. She was not one to give up, and she had six hours to prepare Lucas for what he was going to face. Although she doubted six hours would be nearly enough. She'd also have to watch his back constantly when he was around her family. Not only for his safety, but for hers as well. She had a feeling that despite the fact that he didn't seem to completely hate her anymore, he would try to run or get help the first chance he got.

"I think we should go over a few ground rules for when we're at my family's house." Wednesday said to Lucas calmly.

"I'm guessing I'm not allowed to tell your parents that you kidnapped me." Lucas guessed.

"Yes. That is part of rule number one: act like you love me no matter what. My parents are hopeless romantics and if you act like you don't even enjoy talking to me, they'll know something's up." Wednesday figured she would tell him what was probably going to be the most difficult rule for both of them to follow first.

"Would you care to give me some details?" Lucas pressed. She sighed. Love was **not** her thing. In fact, if anyone was going to act cold towards the other, it would be her.

"Well, occasionally calling each other by pet names would be good. Generic things like 'darling' and 'my love' would be safest." Lucas nodded at her, telling her to go on. "You need to go along with any fake stories I tell. For example, if I say we got married under the Eiffel Tower, you go along with it and add your own little tidbit." She explained. "And nothing too 'sweet' or normal. My parents dislike that kind of stuff almost as much as me." She added.

"I'm from Ohio. Doesn't that mean they'll dislike _me_?" Lucas asked. Wednesday knew that he had a point.

"If anything, they'll probably think you're brave. But whenever you're around anyone but me, act like your normal self meets Dracula." Lucas raised an eyebrow at this. Outsiders never understood Wednesday's family. "You'll understand once you meet them, just please don't freak out over anything. I promise to keep you safe as long as you help me out. However, I'll be the first person to cause you harm if you mess this up." Wednesday had the ability to scare people while keeping the calmest voice possible.

**Duh duh duh duh *snap snap* **

Wednesday couldn't help but cringe when she got the first glimpse of the glowing lights of New York City. Her mood certainly wasn't lifted by the goofy grin on her victim's face. What was he so happy about? He was about to endure three days in the Addams mansion! Though Wednesday doubted he would survive one day with her brothers. Pugsley probably had been plotting his death for a good year or two and was being assisted by Pubert. She highly doubted that the few basic survival tips she'd given Lucas would help him avoid being electrocuted or guillotined if her brothers got their hands on him.

"So beautiful." Wednesday heard Lucas whisper to himself upon seeing the skyline. She rolled her eyes. Of course he would be one of those people that think New York is a golden city of opportunity and not see it for what it actually is; a loud, dirty place, full of greed and people too caught up in their work to notice others. Oh how her family loved it so. However, it had been her prison for eighteen years and she'd gone to great lengths to stay away from it as long as possible. The captive in the drivers seat was clear proof of that. Lucas was too captivated with the city to try to converse with Wednesday. She actually didn't mind this too much considering they had just talked for hours on end. But at least he knew a few things about her family and wasn't going in totally ignorant to what was to come. Though, nobody could possibly know what to expect.

Wednesday instructed Lucas to drive down 5th avenue until he came to a dirt road leading into Central Park.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because it will lead to my parents house." Lucas looked at her like she was truly crazy for the first time in several hours. "Do what I tell you." She reminded him. They continued down 5th slowly due to traffic, and Lucas got the biggest look of surprise on his face when he saw the slightly hidden dirt road that looked like it shouldn't be there. Wednesday gave him the perfect _I told you so _look as he turned onto it.

Wednesday fondly looked out the window to admire the dead trees as the SUV made its way down the hazardous road full of potholes and wayward tree roots. She'd hated being trapped in her house but she'd loved her family's part of Central Park. She would have to go hunting some time while they were there. As soon as her house came into view, Wednesday felt all of the feelings of her childhood. All of the woe, malice, and occasional(to her horror) happiness. Lucas stopped at the gate.

"Is there a callbox?" Lucas asked as he eyed the decaying Victorian mansion behind it.

"Not exactly." Wednesday said as she rolled down her window. She stuck her head out of it. "Gate! It's Wednesday. Let us in." She called to the seemingly inanimate rusting wrought-iron. To Lucas' surprise, the gate swung open. He'd been with Wednesday long enough to know to not even ask, and instead drove up the rest of the drive. He parked in front of the house. Many of the windows had dim lights pouring through them even though it was past midnight. Lucas went to open his door, but Wednesday stopped him by grabbing his forearm.

"Wait." she said and reached into the back seat to grab her duffel bag. From it, she pulled out a felt jewelry bag. She emptied the contents of it into the palm of her hand. Two rings, both white gold with diamonds wrapped around. Wednesday handed Lucas the bigger of the two before putting the other on her left hand. He did the same with his. "I now pronounce us temporary, fake husband and wife." Wednesday announced and opened the car door.

**I hope you all have a good New Year. Make sure you all avoid Amandas and Joels! And if you haven't done so already, go read Child of a Broken Dawn's amazing New Year's eve story, Auld Lang Syne.**

**Whether it was good or bad, please review!**


	4. Fortitude is Nothing Like It Seems

**Author's note: Ok so I took my sweet time getting this chapter done…I'm just going to go with the zero free time excuse combined with a nasty case of writers block. This chapter is a bit longer than the others to make up for your long wait.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned TAF, do you really think I would be writing fan fiction for them? The answer is no.**

Lucas felt odd wearing the clearly expensive ring. It didn't help the uneasy feeling building up in his stomach as Wednesday led him to the front door of the freaky looking house in the middle of Central Park that his dad would without a doubt want to tear down if he ever laid his eyes on it. A loud sound that was without a doubt, a gun shot, erupted from the house. Lucas heard Wednesday chuckle slightly.

"What was that?" He asked her, not even attempting to hide the fear in his voice.  
>"My brothers. They feed off of people being scared of them, so I suggest you man-up before you meet them." she gave him a clear warning. They walked up the steps together and Lucas heard Wednesday take a deep breath before grabbing what looked like a seriously old school doorbell, pulling it out, and immediately letting it go. An insanely loud foghorn rang out and shook the entire house. Lucas worried it would all crash into a pile of rubble.<p>

"It's a doorbell. Get a grip!" Wednesday managed to reprimand Lucas before the door opened. It revealed a giant man wearing a worn black tuxedo, with skin somehow whiter than Wednesday's, dark circles under his eyes, gaunt cheeks, and somewhat yellow eyes. He was a dead ringer for Frankenstein's monster(minus the bolts). His eyes widened at the sight of Wednesday and he groaned something completely incomprehensible before bending over slightly to give her a giant bear hug.

"I missed you too, Lurch." Wednesday said with slight discomfort in her voice, her arms stiffly at her sides. Lucas wondered if she could even breath considering how tight the man, 'Lurch', was hugging her. Lurch let her go and turned his attention to Lucas.

"ugggggh." he groaned at him and put his hands on his hips. It was almost comical, but Lucas didn't dare laugh.

"Lurch, this is my husband." Wednesday awkwardly introduced Lucas to Lurch.

"uggggggggh!" He groaned at her in a tone that seemed somehow parental and angry.

"I know." She seemed to agree with him about something. It was ludicrous that Wednesday could understand him, but Lucas figured that after everything that had happened to him in the past eight or so hours, the fact that his kidnapper apparently spoke zombie shouldn't surprise him.

"Go get mother and father, please." Wednesday directed the hulking man, who immediately dropped his head and began shuffling into the depths of the ancient house. Wednesday led Lucas through the door and closed it behind him. The house was just as cold and empty as it had looked like it would be on the outside, there were more stuffed animal heads on the walls than in his uncle Pat's house, and it kind of smelled like a combination of tobacco and rotting wood. What a charming place to grow up in. Lucas couldn't help but sarcastically think to himself. His observations of the house, that (to his horror) seemed a lot like stuff his dad would say, were cut short by someone nudging him.

"Hold my hand." He heard Wednesday harshly whisper to him. He gave her a confused look but held his right hand out to her cautiously. She grabbed his hand aggressively. Lucas was surprised at how warm her hand was. He'd guessed that she would be cold considering she was pale enough to be a corpse, but then again, the old saying, 'warm hands, cold heart' came to mind. The pair stood together in total silence for about three minutes before there were thuds from upstairs followed by what sounded like metal hitting something.

"Oh no." he heard Wednesday mutter before a chubby, mustachioed man wearing a pinstripe suit appeared at the top of the stairs, armed with a fencing sword. Just a step behind him was a tall, pale woman wearing a long, tight, incredibly low cut dress.

"Paloma!" The man called to Wednesday happily before bounding down the stairs to them. Lucas somehow got out of Wednesday's iron grip and stepped aside to avoid being stabbed as the man whom he assumed was Wednesday's father flung his arms around her. The woman who could only be Wednesday's mother trailed far behind Wednesday's father; it almost seemed like she was trying to make a dramatic entrance. Wednesday managed to break free from her father just before her mother made it over to her.

"Hello, Mother." Wednesday greeted her.

"Wednesday." Her mother replied. The way they acted made it seem like it hadn't been years since they'd last seen each other. Lucas was relieved that Wednesday's parents seemed a little bit too preoccupied with their daughter to totally notice him. But of course, that wouldn't last.

"Um…Father, Mother this is my husband." Wednesday seemed truly nervous for the first time; there was actually fear in her voice. Her parents gazes turned towards him. He managed to swallow his fear of being stabbed for being fake-married to someone who kidnapped him and did the best imitation of his father he could manage.

"Lucas Beineke." he said confidently and held out his right hand. Wednesday's father grabbed it very tightly.

"Gomez Hidalgo Addams." Wednesday's father introduced himself with a thick Spanish accent. He sounded nice, but Lucas could detect a hint of anger in his tone of voice. But of course he was angry. Wednesday hadn't said much in the car about what exactly she'd been doing since she was eighteen, but the sham of a marriage was made up to avoid coming home. So unless Wednesday's family hated her(doubtful), they probably weren't too happy with her "husband".

"And this is my beloved wife and mother of my children, Morticia." Gomez dramatically introduced Wednesday's mother.

"So very pleased to meet you." Morticia said to Lucas in a low, smooth voice. He suspected that she was a slightly older version of what Wednesday would be like while incredibly high on Xanax.

"Where are the maggots?" Wednesday asked her parents. Neither of them questioned who she was referring to.

"Boys! Your sister is here!" Gomez yelled in the direction of the stairs. There was a series of thuds that sounded like a stampede coming from the floor above. There once was an even louder sound followed by a wordless shout from what sounded like a teenage boy. Wednesday's brothers, was all Lucas could think.

"Wednesday!" A younger voice yelled from the top of the stairs. Lucas looked up to see a little boy of about ten who looked exactly like a mini version of his father, right down to a fake mustache(it had to be fake) he also possessed his mother and sister's complexion. He barreled down the stairs and nearly tackled Wednesday as he hugged her. Wednesday seemed very uncomfortable in that position.

"Personal space, Pubert. I have it and you are invading it." She informed him and he instantly let go.

"Sorry." He apologized sincerely. He turned his attention to Lucas. "Who are you?" He asked without the childish sweetness he'd shown just moments before.

"I'm-" Lucas was about to say that he was Wednesday's husband when a second boy yelled,

"I'm going to kill you, kid!" He looked like he was in his mid-teens and was heavier like Gomez. He ran down the stairs carrying a battleaxe and had a murderous gaze set on the boy, Pubert. Lucas couldn't help but think that crazy/predatory behavior was hereditary. Just as the older boy raised the axe, his mother finally said something.

"Pugsley, no. You can play with Pubert later; we have a guest." Lucas could have sworn he heard the one called Pugsley, growl before looking over at him. If looks could kill, Lucas would have melted à la The Wicked Witch of the West.

"You've got to be kidding." Pugsley said to his sister in all seriousness. For just a smidgen of a second, Wednesday had a look on her face that was completely defeated, like she knew she was busted, but only someone looking for it would have seen it.

"No joke. This is my husband, Lucas. Wednesday seemed to become more and more comfortable with that statement every time she said it.

"Wednesday has told me so much about you both." Lucas lied to the boys. Pugsley crossed his arms while Pubert got an excited look on his face,

"Really? Like what?" The younger boy asked.

"Like you're very annoying and surprisingly good at dodging bullets." Wednesday cut in to save Lucas from making a mistake.

"I am! Pugsley just tried to shoot me before you got here." He pointed to the shredded shoulder of his dark grey sports coat. Lucas was absolutely appalled, but really what could he do? If he made Wednesday look bad, she would most definitely kill him.

"I almost got him that time." Pugsley defended himself.

"You almost got him ten years ago as well, yet here he stands." She stated.

"That's enough, children." Morticia interjected. "I'm sure Wednesday and Lucas are very tired after their long trip. Wednesday's room is just the way she left it." She said. Lucas was surprised to feel relief.

"Yes, we shall talk more in the morning. Fester should be back by then." Gomez added.

"We shall." Pugsley said menacingly to Wednesday as she led Lucas towards the staircase. "And please try to keep your groans to a minimum; I do sleep right down the hall." He added. Lucas turned beet red at this. Wednesday didn't respond to her brother's comment in any other way than increasing her pace to her room. Lucas almost had to jog to keep up with her. The house was crazy big so he was grateful her room was only on the third floor.

Lucas followed her into a room on the west side of the house where she threw her bag down on the floor and collapsed on the bed. She screamed at the top of her lungs into her pillow and Lucas felt like he was seeing something he shouldn't. He could see her breathing heavily and she stayed with her face buried in her pillow for another minute before apparently calming down somewhat and getting back up to face him.

"I hate this place." she said as she looked around at her room. The dark green wallpaper was peeling off, and the hardwood floors would probably give anyone several splinters if they were to walk on it barefoot. Several road signs were nailed to the walls including one from 5th avenue and a stop sign(there was no way they were real). An ancient record player rested on top of the dresser with a stack of 45s, and on a shelf above her bed was a collection of hardback books. It was pretty typical Wednesday if she really was that crazy all the time. And judging by her family, it was a definite possibility.

Wednesday suddenly jumped up from the bed and went over to the door. She crouched down and lifted a floorboard. From under it she found a key which she used to lock the door from the inside. Effectively keeping both her and Lucas in the room together until morning.

"Another precaution?" Lucas asked as he kicked off his shoes to the side of the room. Wednesday nodded and slipped the key into her duffel; she in turn pulled some black garments out of it.

"Turn towards the wall." She directed Lucas.

"Why?" he asked, completely oblivious.

"Because I don't feel like doing a strip tease, that's why." She said bluntly. A look of realization hit Lucas and he did what she said. After a short time, she told him it was ok to look again. She'd changed into long-sleeved, black pajamas and was pulling back the sheets of her bed. Lucas awkwardly stood there in the corner, unsure what to do for he had no change of clothes whatsoever and had no clue where he was supposed to sleep.  
>"Soooo, do you want me to sleep on the floor?" He asked as he eyed the decrepit boards. Wednesday hesitated answering.<p>

"I guess you can sleep here." she said and appeared to regret it the minute it left her lips. The floor somehow seemed more inviting, but he hesitantly moved over to the bed. He tried to lay farthest to the edge possible without falling off the bed to allow as much space between he and Wednesday as possible. He glanced over at her once to see her arms crossed on her chest in the fashion of a corpse; he uncontrollably chuckled.

"What exactly is so funny?" Wednesday asked without opening her eyes or moving her arms.

"Why are you trying to sleep like that?" He asked.

"Have you ever tried sleeping like a corpse? I swear you will sleep sounder than ever before. Not as well as the ones you're mimicking, but close." She sighed and went back to falling asleep. Lucas looked at her skeptically before slowly moving his hands to his shoulders.

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	5. No One Who Knows Us both

**Author's note: I have two reasons for not updating this as soon as I should have. The first is that I have had all of my free time hijacked because I'm in my school's musical, and the second is that the plot bunnies never give help to those who need it. But of course, you're not reading this to hear my excuses. You're here for your WxL fix. Well, let's commence the awkward cuddling!**

Wednesday awoke from her short slumber just as the sun was rising over The Big Apple. It was only in the very early morning that the Addams house was almost completely silent. No explosions, no flamenco music playing from the ballroom, just the sounds of breathing. She almost hoped that the events of the previous day had all been a dream. This was shattered by the fact that there was now a young man's arm draped over her and they were sharing the same pillow. He was warm and smelled really nice for someone who hadn't showered after a long car ride.

Wait a minute, why was she thinking this? She used all of her strength to shove him away from her so hard he tumbled off the opposite side of the bed; taking the comforter with him.

"Hey!" He yelled drowsily from the floor. Wednesday rolled her eyes and sat up.

"You're lucky you didn't lose that arm." She said unsympathetically and padded over to her closet. She'd seen the way her mother had scrutinized her new, contemporary style of dress and decided to go for something more familiar to avoid awkward conversation. She looked over to see that Lucas had actually fallen back asleep; which wasn't necessarily a bad thing because it made it easier for her to change into one of her old dresses. She was grateful the moths hadn't gotten to it yet.

Wednesday glanced at the door, and then the sleeping man again. She'd forgotten something. Rule number one of all kidnappings; take their cell phones. Thankfully, her captive had turned onto his back, so it was pretty easy for Wednesday to reach into his right front pocket to retrieve his silver rectangle of technology. It was still powered on and it's screen said he had five unread texts, seven missed calls, and six voicemails. She was about to listen to the voicemails(she kidnapped the guy, why should she care about his privacy?), when she remembered something else; phones can be traced.

Of course, there was a slim chance of police looking for a man in his early twenties after being gone for only sixteen hours. But then again, it was small town Ohio. What else did they have to do on a Saturday? She instantly powered off the phone and walked over to the room's one window. She unlatched it and with a little bit of force, opened it to chuck the phone into a distant tree. Just as she was about to execute the last part, she stopped herself. For some unclear reason, she dismantled the phone into three pieces and put it into her closet inside a combat boot. So what if he lost his precious phone numbers and self-taken pictures of him? Why hadn't she just smashed it?

She sighed and found her makeup bag and the key to unlock the door in her duffel. The chances of her "husband" finding the trap door hidden under the worn throw rug in the middle of the room were slim, so he wouldn't make it out of the house without her. She opened the door to reveal her little brother waiting patiently(well, he was hardly little anymore).

"Hi Wednes." He greeted her with an obviously fake, happy demeanor.

"What do you want, Pugsley?" Wednesday asked him straightforwardly. He instantly dropped the look of happiness and crossed his arms.

"You said that we could talk tomorrow. Guess what? It's tomorrow." Wednesday sighed and made her way to the nearest bathroom.

"Fine. Go ahead and say what you want to say." She said and put her makeup bag next to the sink. Pugsley closed the lid of the toilet next to the sink and sat down.

"What are you doing?" He asked as Wednesday dug through the bag and then pulled out a circular container.

"Applying foundation. It is the first step in my difficult process of using cosmetics." She said matter-of-factly.

"Is this because of that guy you brought with you who I refuse to call your husband?" Pugsley asked. Wednesday fought the urge lash out at her brother and took a deep breath.

"Yes, actually. Mother would kill me if I didn't strive to look beautiful for Lucas. Why exactly do you refuse to call him my husband?" She asked as she moved on to eye shadow.

"Because he is just so…blah! I always figured that any guy that could keep you away from us would have to be the scientist that causes the zombiepocolyse or the son of The Zodiac." Pugsley picked up an eyelash curler. "Please tell me this is an object of torture, or I may have to have you committed." Wednesday grabbed it back from him without too much of a struggle(after all these years, she was still faster than him).

"It can be when used properly." she said threateningly and put it back in her bag. Satisfied, Pugsley smirked. Wednesday had moved on to eyeliner and figured he was going to make a comment when someone cleared their throat in the hallway. She jumped in surprise and accidentally poked herself with the eye pencil. She sucked in a sharp breath and turned to see a tired, and incredibly messy-haired Lucas.

"Um, you said you would find me some clothes?" He said. Pugsley gave his sister a questioning glace. She blinked furiously for a few seconds before she was able to speak.

"Lucas lost his suitcase when he rolled my car in Jersey." She flawlessly lied.

"Oh, so that's why you guys drove here in the blue gas guzzler?" Pugsley asked.

"Yes." Wednesday said to her brother through her teeth. She zipped up the makeup bag and turned to the young man.

"I'm sure we can find you something." She turned to her brother and glared, before making a spectacle of taking Lucas' hand and leading him to the staircase.

"So what exactly were you talking about with your brother?" Lucas asked as they made their way up several flights of stairs.

"Why I married you." Wednesday said truthfully.

"Why? Because I'm smart, fun, cool, and sensitive? Or because you went all Kyrgyzstan on me?" He asked with acid dripping from his words.

"Actually, I haven't figured out any good reasons yet, but maybe you can help me with that. We'll probably be under interrogation at breakfast." Wednesday said, completely disregarding Lucas' distain towards her. They had finally made it to the attic and she looked around to make sure nothing was booby trapped and her grandmother wasn't going to pop out of one of the many boxes. Actually, her grandmother was nowhere in sight. It was probably a good thing. Lucas would see enough of her in time. She made her way to where her father's old things were kept and found one of his old trunks full of clothes.

"It's a good thing Father never got rid of his clothes from before he discovered chocolate-covered crickets." Wednesday said to Lucas and threw him a shirt, pants, and socks. He made no big deal of stripping down to his underwear without her looking away. However, the black dress pants were both two sizes too loose, and about an inch too short. Wednesday tossed him some black suspenders to keep the pants from falling down. He looked at himself in the mirror; his hair wild, wearing the white button-up shirt and black pants and suspenders. He chuckled at his reflection.

"What's so funny?" Wednesday asked. Completely bewildered at his sudden change in attitude. He turned around and held his arms straight out in from of him with his fingers spread apart.

"I'm not finished!" He said and then burst into a fit of laughter.

**Cyber cookies for anyone that knows what Lucas was referencing! (Except for you, Eryn, because you gave me the quote). Oh, and if you dirty dogs want a visual of Lucas stripping, get yourselves over to youtube and find Wesley Taylor Across the Universe. You will not be disappointed.**

**Love it? Hate it? Review? Please? *offers plate of marzipan squares to those who leave reviews***


	6. What Would Be Next

**Author's note: Hello lords and ladies! It's been a while, I know. I have been somewhat busy with doing a collab with Child of a Broken Dawn(everyone go check out Addams Girls Studio). Ok, now that I'm done shamelessly self-advertising, onto the chapter!**

"Wednesday, how exactly did you and Lucas meet? You never gave us the details." The oldest Addams son said to his sister across the table with clear intent. Their father looked up from his breakfast of unknown substances that may or may not have moved on their own. Wednesday gave Lucas a (completely fake) loving glance before turning to her eager parents.

"Well, it was about 2 years ago when I was traveling through France trying to find weapons from the French Revolution, and I figured I might as well pay my respects to the great Emperor Napoleon. And when I was checking out his tomb, there was Lucas staring at me. And-" Wednesday's story was cut off by her fake husband.

"And I thought she looked like a goddess from my dreams. Unfortunately, I couldn't work up the courage to talk to her, so I followed her back to the hotel she was staying at and-""And I accused him of stalking me and aimed my crossbow at his jugular." Wednesday finished for him. Morticia nodded in approval at her daughter.

"And I said she looked just like Diana the Huntress. " Lucas attempted to help his alter egos tarnished reputation. Gomez raised an eyebrow and took a cigar out of his pocket. "I recited a poem for her right on the spot." Lucas figured the fake version of him that was married to Wednesday could at least share his passion for poetry.

"And I kissed him." Wednesday finished their verbal tango rather anticlimactically. She only hoped her parents used their imaginations and figured she and Lucas were just as madly in love as them. She turned to Lucas who was admiring the ring on his finger, apparently trying to avoid the gazes of Morticia and Gomez. If this were his plan, it was foiled within twenty seconds.

"So, what does Lucas Beineke do?" Gomez asked him and he was forced to tilt his head upright. Lucas didn't falter to answer,

"I just got my bachelor's degree in English, but I'm working for my dad's construction company- Well, I guess it's really more of a demolition company; we blow up or tear down buildings to sell the property more often than not."

"How fascinating." Morticia cooed. Her husband got out of his chair to walk around the table and clap his hand on Lucas' shoulder.

"You're a good man, Mr. Lucas Beineke." Gomez complimented and smiled at his daughter. Wednesday was meanwhile becoming more and more uncomfortable in her own skin.

It was almost sickening how taken with him her parents were. Weren't they supposed to want to murder him for keeping their daughter away and taking her innocence, or something of that nature? Or did they really hate her so much that they were willing to overlook these details because of the fact that he's a gangly poet who's into blowing things up and could possibly give them grandchildren with an array of chromosomal abnormalities?

What was even worse than her parents, was Lucas himself. Not once had he so much as hinted to her parents that he'd been abducted in a parking lot, was being held completely against his will, and was not in fact their daughter's husband. Was his average life so boring that he didn't even fight being kidnapped? Now that she thought about it, he hadn't put up much of a fight in the parking lot. So maybe this was more fun than he'd had in years! Yep, she was just going to have to convince her suddenly present conscience of that.

The young man in question was swirling around his remaining chocolate Cap'n Crunch in the bowl with a spoon. He probably wasn't going to eat it, for his mouth had already taken quite the beating from the first few bites. The creator of the cereal had to be a sadist. There was a loud thump as the now 106-year-old Grandma passed out at the table. The family all looked in her direction. Her wild gray hair covered her face and it seemed a miracle she had been leaning forward.

"Is she dead?" Gomez asked, a little bit too much excitement in his voice. Pugsley reached for her liver-spotted hand and checked her wrist for any sign of a pulse.

"No," he said sadly.

"Pity," his mother sighed. "We could have finally gotten the smell of weed out of the attic." Lucas dropped his spoon and chuckled slightly. The rest of the family didn't understand the humor in Grandma's drug problem, but ignored if and went back to individual conversation.

"Wednesday, will you come play with me and Pugsley?" Pubert asked, giving his sister a sinister, hopeful look, showing off his repulsively cute, big brown eyes.

"Can't. I'm going to show Lucas around the house and grounds." she made up an excuse.

"Not with that weather, you're not." Morticia gestured to the bright sunlight pouring through the nearest window's drapes.

"Wednesday, play with your brothers. I want to spend some man-to-man time with Lucas." The Spanish patriarch said to Wednesday and eyed his apparent son-in-law.

"Yes! I'll fire up the electric chair!" Pugsley said excitedly and ran to the stairs. His father got up from his place at the table and picked up a rapier out of nowhere.

"Vamos!" He called to Lucas as he bounded for the stairs leading down to the man cave. Lucas gulped. Before he could go anywhere, Wednesday turned to him and non-verbally threatened to kill him if he spoke of anything that was anywhere near the truth of their relationship, before saying with faux affection,

"I'll miss you while we're apart, _darling_." And then she went after her Neanderthal brothers.

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	7. We Are Relentless

**Author's note: Wow, I managed to finish a chapter without a two week hiatus! Hallelujah! Praise Charles!**

"Do you smoke, Beineke?" The middle-aged man asked and offered his daughter's husband a cigar.

"No, thank you. I uh- just kicked the habit! Lung capacity purposes." Lucas lied and patted his torso. Truthfully, he'd never smoked anything, but Wednesday's father seemed the man's man type. Wednesday's father chuckled.

"Very understandable. I would do it myself, but I don't think I could stand not having bleeding lungs." Gomez said and stuck a cigar in his mouth with the hand that wasn't holding the glinting rapier. Lucas wasn't quite sure if he was joking or not, so he remained stone-faced. "So tell me, why did you not care to ask for my permission to marry my daughter, and then have the audacity to elope?" Gomez raised the rapier and held the tip of the blade just an inch from Lucas' carotid artery. The young man practically felt his blood rush through it as his heart sped up. He could feel a cold sweat breaking out at his hairline.

"L-love?" Lucas was rather apprehensive but it was truly the only thing that came to mind. 'Your daughter's impressive upper-body strength' wouldn't have been an appropriate answer, though it may have been funny to see his reaction. A smile crept upon Gomez's face.

"Need there be any more said?" He put down the sword and approached his son-in-law. "I like you." He said and shook Lucas' hand firmly.

"Glad to hear it, sir." Lucas said with a smile. There was a loud grumbling noise coming from the man cave's corner. Terrified, Lucas turned his head and saw a giant, pink tentacle start snaking it's way out of what he assumed was the sewer drain. He let out a rather girlish scream and leaped several steps backwards, away from the beast.

"Bernice, no! He's Wednesday's!" The Spaniard yelled at the tentacle. It stopped advancing and grumbled. "Absolutely not! You do this every time we have a guest and I'm tired of it! He's just not that into you!" Gomez sounded like a cross between an infuriated parent, and a realist best friend. There was one more grumble that sounded rather depressed in tone, before the tentacle retreated back into the sewer. Lucas looked at Gomez with wide eyes.

"What?" Gomez asked. "You act like you've never seen a giant squid before!"

* * *

><p>"You know, you almost killed our mother." Pugsley said to his sister accusingly. Wednesday raised an eyebrow.<p>

"How exactly?" She asked and threw a dart at their younger brother's head. Pubert yelped and held the dartboard up as a shied, causing Wednesday to get a triple 20.

"She had some insane midlife crisis when you announced that you had gotten married, and there was some crazy full disclosure involving goats, plums and goats." Pugsley explained. Wednesday furrowed her brow and threw another dart. This one Pubert dodged entirely, and it consequentially stuck into the back wall. Wednesday glared at her little brother and then turned to the teenaged one.

"That sounds like it was pretty entertaining, but how exactly did it almost kill Mother?" She asked.

"After the Full Disclosure disaster, she climbed on the roof and almost jumped- Father and the ancestors had to talk her down!" Pugsley said. Wednesday tossed her third dart directly into the bullseye.

"Is what he's saying true?" Wednesday asked Pubert as she retrieved the darts. The boy nodded. She sighed and handed the darts to her brother.

"It's really not my fault that Mom is really insecure about the world not revolving around her for once." Pugsley threw one of the darts nowhere near Pubert and the board, and shattered a window.

"Did you just call her, _Mom_?" Pugsley asked in disgust. "What has this guy done to you?" he asked, clear revulsion in his voice.

"Nothing! Is it so hard to believe that I may have changed since I was a small child on my own accord?" She shouted and took the darts away from her brother. The first, she threw over her shoulder and it stuck into the eye of a painting of great-grandfather Addams. During this, neither of them had noticed that a Lucas in damp clothes and a tear in the knee of his pants was waiting just outside the door for one of them to stop fighting with the other and notice he was there.

"Well, speak of the golden boy!" Pugsley announced the moment he spotted him. In a millisecond, Wednesday turned her head to look at the person to whom Pugsley was referring, and without thinking, blindly hurled the third dart at her baby brother. A look of horror took over Lucas' face as the room fell completely silent. It took a few moments for Pubert to register that there was a dart stuck in his thigh, but as soon as it hit him, he screamed and glanced down at the dart.

"Do I take it out, or leave it in?" he asked the three older people, panic in his voice. Wednesday rushed to his side.

"It depends on whether or not I hit your femoral artery." she said once she got a closer look.

"And how do you know if you did or not?" The boy asked his sister. She shrugged.

"I say we take him to a hospital." Lucas offered. The three siblings all spoke at the same time, all were clearly against it. "This is really serious!" he objected to them. "Your brother could bleed to death!"

"Lucas, _dear_, believe me when I say that it really won't look good for any of us if we bring in a ten-year-old with a dart possibly stuck in one of his major arteries." Wednesday explained to her fake husband seriously. "Besides, if it's really his time, then so be it." she added. Pubert's eyes widened at this.

"Well, I am not just going to stand by while you-" Lucas began to argue with her, but realized that Pubert was now holding a bloody dart. Their lovers' quarrel ended with Lucas losing consciousness and dropping to the floor.

"Real catch, this one." Pugsley said with thick sarcasm and headed out in search of gauze.

**Do you know what's authors' bread and butter? Reviews. We live for them. Give me life and click that button!**


	8. Even In My Dreams

**Author's Note: Well, looks who's back from an incredibly long hiatus from this story! I'm going to save the excuses and let you guys read the chapter.**

"You know, I was never aware that mistletoe could be edible when cooked properly." Lucas stated as he fluffed the old feather pillow on his side of Wednesday's bed.

"Neither was I." His not-by-choice companion said ominously as she made herself comfortable. Some of the color drained from Lucas' face, but he hesitantly got under the covers and looked up at the cracks in the ceiling.

"Can you do me a favor and not molest me in my sleep tonight?" Wednesday asked. Lucas snorted.

"Will do." There was a crash somewhere in the house and Wednesday gave an annoyed sigh. "They love you, you know." Lucas stated.

"I know."

"Then why did you stay away for so long? Why'd you lie about getting married?" Lucas asked her, still gazing at the ceiling, but trying to envision her exact facial expression.

"It's far more complex than you realize." She said and crossed her arms across her chest to say that this brief conversion had come to a close, but Lucas wouldn't let up yet.

"Try me." he said almost daringly as he turned over on his side to look at Wednesday. Her arms dropped down to her sides, but she didn't return his gaze.

"I'll start by saying that I was in one location the entire time." She started.

"And that location was…" Lucas pressed.

"Stanford." She practically admitted to herself.

"University?" Lucas asked in disbelief. Wednesday nodded.

"Why?" He asked.

"I intended to burn it down, but the buildings were too stable." She joked. Lucas gave her a 'get real' look. "Pre-law." This was clearly not the answer Lucas was expecting. "Horrible, right?"

"That's not exactly the word I would use to describe it." Said Lucas. Wednesday finally rolled on her side to face him.

"Then what would you use?" She asked. His answer would probably consist of a stuttered cliché, but she actually was kind of curious.

"Probably shocking, but that's only because its late and I don't have my thesaurus." Lucas said cheekily.

"I'd say that's about right. Although I think in my parents case, it would best be described as-

"Ludicrous?" Lucas guessed as he propped his head up on his hand.

"Devastating." Wednesday corrected him. "According to Grandma, my father cried for days at just the idea of my brother becoming a lawyer. When he finds out that I actually AM going to be one, he'll probably die. And then my mother will go all Juliet and stab herself to be with him."

"So...you're saying that you will be personally responsible for becoming an orphan if your parents find out you've been going to law school?" Lucas asked to clarify.

"I remember when the idea of that happening was marvelous." She reminisced. "But yes, that is the basic gist of it."

"Well hey, at least you're going to eventually do something you want to do. If you ever let me go, I'm going to be working for my father in a job I hate until I'm middle aged." Lucas had no idea why he just told her this, but it seemed like not telling her about his own miserable life would hardly do him much good. There was silence for a minute or two.

"Car sales?" Wednesday finally asked.

"What?" Lucas asked, partly because he was starting to nod off and didn't hear her, and partly because he wished for her to explain. It was rare to get one's kidnapper to hold a conversation.

"Car sales. Is that your dead end career?" She asked.

"Real estate and construction." Lucas corrected her.

"Damn!" She scolded herself for getting something wrong. Lucas chuckled. "But I at least definitely know what you really are." She attempted to redeem her rare error.

"And what might that be?" Asked Lucas.

"A writer." she concluded. "A poet, to be exact." Lucas gave her a questioning look.

"Care to elaborate?" He asked.

"The fact that you apparently own a thesaurus is a dead giveaway. And your whole person just screams poet." She explained and shifted back onto her back to cross her arms on her chest. Before she had the chance to go to sleep, Lucas had one finale question.

"How exactly were you in California for four years?" He asked, referring to her loose-leaf skin tone. He swore the corners of her mouth morphed into a half-smile.

"SPF 75 works wonders." She admitted. "Goodnight, Lucas." Wednesday said with closed eyes and that was the end of her opening up to him.

...

_A far too bright room was what Wednesday awoke to. Somehow, the light didn't blind her and she managed to look around without squinting. It was certainly not her room. Absolutely everything was white from the walls and carpet, to the fluffy sheets on the bed she was sitting up in, and the natural light streamed in from everywhere. There was not a single torture device in sight, and the air smelled of freshly cleaned linens with a hint of lemon. And yet, she wasn't screaming. In fact, she was, dare I say it? Happy._

_Then the door on the opposite side of the roomed and in flowed a cloud of fog. When it cleared, it revealed none other than a shirtless Lucas, whose hair was blowing as if there were wind. With that entrance, Wednesday expected him to belt out a power rock ballad that belonged in the 80s, but he just smiled and practically glided over to the bed. He kneeled down at Wednesday's side and kept smiling. She wanted to say something but no words came out of her mouth._

_Just a gasp managed to escape her lips when Lucas raised himself up and gently pressed his lips to Wednesday's. Something inside her intensified the kiss and she and Lucas snogged for a good minute before he pulled away from her. She had no time to protest because he brought his mouth right next to her ear to whisper-_

Wednesday awoke from her dream with a gasp and looked around frantically at her nearly pitch black room. She waited for her breathing and heart rate to slow before mentally scolding her subconscious for going to such a dark place.

The very soft snoring next to her caught her attention, and turned her gaze to the worriless face of Lucas as he slept peacefully on his side. She had to admit that her dream/nightmare had done wonders for him, but she couldn't deny that his somewhat unique features were pretty handsome, and he wasn't ignorant like most men her age. She found her hand inching over to very softly touch one of the tufts of brown hair that stuck out at all angles, just to make sure he was real this time.

He was, and Wednesday found it scary how happy this made her. She allowed herself one last look at her kidnapped husband before drifting off into a dreamless sleep for a few hours more.

**Do I really need to ask anymore? *sighs* Ok, how about you all click that magical blue button and see what happens.**


	9. I Never Win

**Author's Note: In my own defense, I've actually been writing this for a long time, I just would get occasional spurts of inspiration.**

* * *

><p>"Get up!" Wednesday's voice shattered Lucas' dream world in which he was having a very deep conversation with Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe, and Kurt Cobain about a topic that was already forgotten. He felt himself mumble something completely incomprehensible, and before he knew it, the warm comforter was gone, and he flailed his arms helplessly.<p>

"Lucas!" Wednesday said louder and he stilled, then flipped over onto his stomach and buried his face in the pillow.

"Noooo!" He cried sleepily when Wednesday flipped him back over and pulled him by the arm.

"Come on, stop acting like a toddler and get out of bed." Wednesday said without patience, and used her above-average strength to pull him to his feet and lead him to the neatly-folded pile of clothes Lurch had left some time before.

"I hate you." Lucas groaned sleepily as he took the clothes and walked down the hall to the bathroom where he intended to shower. Being held hostage is one thing, but being a stinky hostage is quite another. If he was going to be forced to be someone's husband, he was at least going to preserve his dignity.

To pass the time, Wednesday decided to take a little trip to the old armory to see if there were any recent additions since she'd been gone. To her utter annoyance, she ended up dodging four different booby traps in the halls that were probably meant for Lucas. The fifth was her youngest brother, waiting patiently for her.

"Good morning." He said to his older sister and followed her into the weapons room. This greeting caused Wednesday to give him a questioning look.

"Have you been watching sitcoms on Father's television, again?" She asked. Pubert panicked for all of two seconds before he came up with something.

"No! I mean- what I meant to say was, dreary morning, is it not, Sister?" Wednesday really wanted to say something sarcastic, but decided to drop it and cut to the chase.

"What do you want? Or better yet- what does Pugsley want?" She asked as she examined her (thankfully untouched) crossbow collection. The ten-year-old looked down at his black loafer-clad feet.

"I just wanted to talk to you." He admitted. Wednesday chose one of her personal favorites pointed it at the opposite wall.

"About?" She prompted her baby brother before loading the bow with a bolt and test-firing it.

"Are you and Lucas in love?" He asked.

"Of course. That's why I married him." Wednesday said like she'd practiced in her head. Pubert nodded. "Why do you ask?"

"Because you two aren't like Mother and Father, and they're in love." The boy elaborated.

"Pubert, if you think that all couples enjoy public displays of affection as much as Mother and Father, then you're going to be very disappointed." Wednesday said casually and shot another arrow into the wall. She already knew the look Lurch would give her when he realized he would once again need to get out the spackle.

"I just thought I would ask, because it's different with you and Lucas." Pubert admitted.

"How so?" Wednesday asked, expecting him to reveal that as opposed to her parents, she and Lucas showed no affection for each other whatsoever.

"Well, you guys don't kiss, or tango, or anything like that." Pubert said. Wednesday nodded, as this was exactly what she'd been expecting. "But you do look at each other the same way, sometimes." This raised one of Wednesday's eyebrows.

"Interesting." She said with as little emotion possible, and fired one more arrow. The shatter of the window as Wednesday missed her target completely, could be heard throughout the mansion.

* * *

><p>When Lucas had dressed and unlocked the bathroom door, hair still wet, he expected Wednesday to be waiting for him. What he didn't see coming was her grabbing him by the shirt, and pulling him into a not-entirely-consensual kiss. He didn't know her intentions until she finally pulled away from him, and he could see her little brother standing down the hall, looking somewhat terrified. The undead-looking butler had also chosen this particular time to walk past the odd couple with a bucket.<p>

"Uggggggh." He moaned at Wednesday.

"He's my husband!" Wednesday yelled at him in response. Lucas wasn't aware that moaning was an actual language, but with this family, it honestly didn't surprise him. When Lurch had shuffled off, and Pubert had retreated to his room, Wednesday instantly turned back into, well, Wednesday. "Sorry, the kid was asking questions."

"Which of course could be answered with you kissing me." Lucas said sarcastically and dramatically wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Oh, you know you liked it." Wednesday teased and picked up a crossbow that she must have dropped.

"What's that for?" The young man asked in a much calmer tone than one would usually have when asking about their kidnapper's weapon.

"We're going hunting!" Wednesday said excitedly and grabbed him by the wrist to lead him down the stairs. Lucas couldn't help but think that this was a rare time when Wednesday exhibited behavior similar to that of her father. But then another thought struck him.

"We're in New York. How do you plan on hunting?" After asking this, images of Wednesday gleefully shooting at random pedestrians with her crossbow flooded Lucas' mind.

"We're in Central Park! If each species of bird that lives here were a necktie, I could hang myself twenty-five times!" Wednesday seemed almost insanely giddy now. Lucas had to admit that that was a lot better than mass-murder.

"Aren't some of those species endangered?" He asked.

"From me." Wednesday said ominously. Lucas gave her a side-eyed look. "If it makes you feel better, I'll stay away from the swans."

"Thanks. That's much better!" Lucas said sarcastically. "And how do you plan on not getting caught doing this?" He asked.

"Did you not see the land surrounding the house when we got here?" Asked Wednesday. She took the lack of an answer from Lucas as a no. "There's acres of private property I can hunt on without even coming in contact with someone." She explained. The pair were now walking swiftly side by side through the house, only stopping once when Wednesday pulled Lucas out of the way of a bear trap and cursed Pugsley under her breath.

Just as the two made it out the door, the aforementioned brother appeared in the flesh, looking overly chipper.

"Pugsley, if anything happens to him, I WILL turn to Harmony torture." Wednesday threatened.

"Then let's hope nothing tragic happens." The teen shot back and continued into the house.

"How I managed to make it out of here with my sanity, I'll never know." Wednesday said to nobody in particular as she let go of Lucas and took the lead into the wooded area.

"Because you clearly were perfectly sane when you brought me here." The kidnapped man joked.

"Lucas, do you really want to irritate the woman with the crossbow?" Wednesday asked, turning and pointing the weapon at Lucas' chest. He took in a sharp breath.

"You're going to be a great attorney." Lucas joked, and Wednesday lowered it.

"You're infuriating!" She shouted before noticing something and shooting an arrow at it before Lucas even knew what was going on. He failed to notice the small explosion of feathers as well."Pigeon." Wednesday stated as she finally got a good look at her prize.

"You seriously just shot a bird in Central Park." Lucas said in disbelief.

"Yes. But the city will not miss one pigeon. In fact, some consider them to be vermin." She reached into her dress pocket and produced a quart-sized zipped baggy, which she quickly put the bird into and handed it to Lucas. He held it at arms length and gave it a look of disgust. This reaction to carrying the dead bird went unnoticed by his faux wife, who was too busy looking for a bird that was a little more exotic than a pigeon.

"You have no idea how much I missed this." Wednesday said to Lucas when she spotted a red-winged blackbird. He grimaced when it was hit in the chest and let out a short cry of distress before dropping dead. Wednesday bagged this one but thankfully decided to carry it herself.

"Are we done here?" Lucas asked.

"Yes." Wednesday looked back in the direction of the house. "Do you want to take a walk?" She asked. Lucas, knowing he had no real say in the matter, nodded. Wednesday led the way for a while before she asked,

"So, are your parents looking for you?"

"Well, it's been two days, so I would think so." Lucas answered. "Well, I guess my mom definitely is. My dad- might think she's overreacting because his sense of time is usually off because of his thirteen-hour workdays." His captor nodded and they continued walking for another minute or so. Lucas noticed something wasn't right with her just a few seconds before she stopped at a tree and broke down. Lucas had no idea what triggered it, but she was on the ground, holding her short hair like a person that had finally snapped, while her tear ducts threatened to let out some moisture.

Seeing Wednesday like this seemed so off for Lucas, he almost felt like she would want him to turn away. But a voice in his head, for some crazy reason, told him to do otherwise. So Lucas sat down on the ground next to the woman who kidnapped him, while she possibly had a nervous breakdown.

"I can't do this." He heard Wednesday say barely audibly. As she took deep breaths and looked more vulnerable than Lucas bet anyone had ever seen her, Lucas saw Wednesday Addams' humanity. If it hadn't been for this, he wouldn't have brought his hand down to hers and held it in the soothing gesture that his mom had used on him as a child, when his dad didn't approve of anything he did. He was rather surprised when Wednesday didn't shy away from him, instead she looked into his eyes and whispered,

"I'm sorry." Lucas nodded.

"I know." He said in a similar volume. After an unknown amount of time just sitting there, holding hands absently, Wednesday somewhat pulled herself together and stood up, helping Lucas to his feet as feet as well.

"I suppose we should be getting back." She said in a normal tone of voice and looked back in the direction of the house.

"I guess we should." Lucas agreed as an idea came to him that he decided to act on. "Shall I escort you back to the house, Mrs. Beineke?" He asked jokingly as he extended the hand Wednesday had previously been holding. To his astonishment, she actually took it.

"Oh please, I would at least hyphen my name!" She said as they began to walk.

"Excuse me," Lucas corrected himself. "Mrs. _Addams-Beineke_."

"That's better." Wednesday said. She would never admit to anyone how nice it really sounded, nor would Lucas admit that they weren't walking hand-in-hand to keep up the facade of a married couple.

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><p><strong>Do you know what makes me want to write WxL? Reviews (and plot bunnies, but that is beside the point).<strong>


	10. And How We'd Laugh

**Author's Note:**

**Well, this has taken a lot longer than expected. Hehehe…Oh, look! A distraction in the form of a really long chapter! *runs away***

* * *

><p>Paloma!" Gomez called happily to his daughter when she and Lucas entered the dining room together.<p>

"Hello Father, Mother." Wednesday greeted her parents while Lucas just smiled at everyone at the table, including ancient Grandma, who was currently staring off into space. Lurch took the bagged pigeon from Lucas, who'd completely forgotten about the fact that he'd been carrying around a dead bird, and Wednesday took her seat next to her brothers.

"I need you to stuff this for me." She said to the eldest of the two. Pugsley looked at the blackbird before smirking.

"I'd love to, but I'm afraid that there's nothing in it for me." He not-so-politely declined.

"I'll do it for you." Pubert offered, and was promptly elbowed in the ribs by his older brother. Wednesday handed the bag to her youngest brother and turned back to the adults just as Lurch began serving breakfast.

"Lucas, when will we be meeting your parents?" Morticia asked. Lucas spared one quick glance at Wednesday before responding,

"As soon as my dad can pull himself away from work." Nobody else in the room aside from Wednesday knew that hell would probably freeze over before then, but luckily Grandma interrupted before this string of conversation could be continued.

"WHERE'S MY STASH, YOU NAZIS?!"

"You probably smoked it all, based on the contact high I got last night from two floors down." Pugsley said, not nearly loud enough for the senile 106-year-old to hear.

"WHAT?" Grandma asked.

"Nothing!" Pugsley yelled. Lucas chuckled, and Wednesday lightly jabbed him with her elbow. She refused to admit that Grandma's insanity had finally become somewhat amusing to her, but she supposed that this was not the case for the rest of the family that lived with the woman all the time. She recalled the time Pugsley stole one of Grandma's potions and gave it to little 6-year-old Pubert. The kid had to be locked in his room because he kept screaming, 'I AM SPARTACUS!'

"Wednesday, I want you and Lucas to join your father and I in the ballroom this afternoon." Morticia said to her daughter, and caused Wednesday to raise an eyebrow.

"Why?" The ballroom. For dancing. The ballroom for dancing where her parents tango at least once a day. Wednesday's mind began to deduce the possible reasons why her mother wanted her and Lucas to possibly dance, when her father announced.

"We've invited the whole family for a small get together tonight." Wednesday imagined she and Lucas wore a similar facial expression. A kind of ghostly, mildly terrified, deer in headlights sort of thing, but then she remembered that he didn't know the extent of her family's...eccentricity, and turned to his traitorous smile.

"Sounds fun!" Her palm immediately met her face.

* * *

><p>"Father, no! No knives!" Wednesday yelled, almost too late. Gomez had to stop himself mid-throw, but the knife only dropped right to the floor." He gave his daughter an exasperated look.<p>

"Wednesday, you cannot do that! This floor is mahogany!" He said as he picked up the knife.

"Yes, and Lucas is fleshy." The man in question was still shaking in terror. "Maybe you should just do the Mamushka with uncle Fester." Wednesday suggested, as she went to Lucas' side. The Spaniard nodded and reluctantly set down the rest of the weapons on the nearest table.

"Wednesday, I'll take it from here." Morticia said as she stepped out of the shadows and approached her daughter and supposed son-in-law. "Tango!" She said dramatically, and Wednesday immediately stopped her.

"And no tango. Thank you, Mother, but I think we'll just stick with a waltz. Besides, because I learned about this party at such short notice, I have nothing to wear."

"Darling, you can wear something of mine." This elicited a half laugh from Wednesday that had to be stifled.

"No, really it's fine. I actually have been meaning to show Lucas the city." Wednesday turned to the young man. "Right?" Lucas nodded his head furiously. "And I assure you, a waltz will be fine for the party." Gomez' face fell, but he nodded.

"You are a woman and you can make your own decisions. But would you like Lurch to take you?" He asked. Wednesday thought back to Lurch's comments that morning, and politely declined.

"We promise to be back at least an hour before people are supposed to get here." Lucas added on as his fake wife grabbed his hand, and Wednesday couldn't get out of there fast enough.

"Sweet freedom!" She exclaimed up at the sky the minute the two of them were outside the house, and heading toward the fastest route to the more commonly-known majority of New York City that wasn't owned by her family.

"Are we seriously going to shop for formalwear while we're out, or are we making a run for it?" Lucas asked Wednesday.

"Unfortunately, yes, we're really shopping. Things like this are nearly impossible to back out of unless you're like my grandmother and have to be locked in the attic when company's over." He looked for any signs that she was joking, but found none.

"Okay, then." He held out his hand for Wednesday to hold, and she awkwardly accepted.

"So, is there anywhere in particular you would like to go?" Wednesday asked as they neared the end of the drive, and the actual street began to reveal itself. Lucas could hardly contain his excitement. Even if he'd been in New York for two (three?) days, the Addams corner of the world was nothing like this. The hustle and bustle of people, beautiful skyscrapers that were forever immortalized, the wonderful stench of smog and hotdogs that hung in the air...

"Lucas?" Wednesday's ever so slightly amused voice brought him back down to Earth. "Is there anywhere you want to go?" She asked again. He shrugged, and watched her intently as she hailed a cab.

"That was cool." He admitted as they got into the car. Still finding humor in his extreme fascination, Wednesday actually had to refrain from any biting comments, or smiling. Lucas didn't really pay attention to the directions she gave the driver, but he spent the duration of the trip with his face all but pressed against the glass of the window, not trying to miss a single thing. Wednesday had to pull him from the cab after paying their fare.

"What is the place?" He asked in wonder as Wednesday led him into Macy's."It's a department store." She stated, remembering the size of the mall she'd taken Lucas from.

"It's beautiful." He whispered just barely jokingly, while looking around at the endless clothing racks.

"That's not exactly how I would describe it, but okay." Wednesday led him further into the store to the men's department. "Let's just try to get this over with." She waved her hand at the formalwear, but Lucas continued to stare in wonder.

"Any restrictions?" He asked, devoid of emotions, still with that dreamy look in his eyes.

"No bright colors." Wednesday specified. He nodded, and began to silently glided around, looking at everything, and completely annoying his fake wife that trailed behind him. After about twenty minutes without him saying a word, nor picking up a single article of clothing, an exasperated Wednesday sighed, and he noticed instantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Lucas said when he saw her face and realized he might have been taking too long. He pointedly went to some of the racks they'd previously passed and began to piece together his outfit. Black leather oxford shoes with a matching belt, a dark gray suit, a black shirt, and a gray bow tie. He double-checked the sizes on the tags and headed for the nearest fitting room, leaving Wednesday to wait outside until he emerged a few minutes later.

Wednesday had admitted to herself sometime on the drive to New York that Lucas was exceptionally handsome. Not in the way the men her classmates drooled over were, of course not, but that was probably why she was so attracted to him. He was most likely somewhat attractive to most women, but the ears that stuck out just a little too far, the slightly pointed nose, the chin that was just barely bigger than average, things that some women would think to be deductions on his attractiveness level were bonuses to Wednesday. In nice clothes that fit him perfectly and smiling at her, he was, dare she say it? Sexy.

"So, what do you think?" Lucas asked, and did a twirl for her, which did not help her keep her train of thought. Wednesday cursed her college-age sex drive.

"Yes. It's good." She cleared her throat, though there was definitely no phlegm there.

"You look very nice." Lucas smiled again.

"Thanks. So, yes?" He asked.

"Definitely yes." When Lucas had gone back into the stall, Wednesday allowed herself to sigh like a schoolgirl, and then promptly slapped herself in the face.

Four years at college and a few had caught her eye, but this was just ridiculous. Rule number one of kidnapping: never get too close to the victim, because that's how you make mistakes. But if course, she'd already made a lot of mistakes, ranging from breaking down in front of him to actually taking Lucas out in public(though the chances of there being a nationwide search for a grown man after just a few days were not good).

But no, all rules aside, she tried to not let herself care about him, because if he had a brain, he wouldn't care about her. She kidnapped him for Charles sake!

She was still having an internal debate when he came back out. "So, you next?" He asked. Wednesday nodded and they checked out before heading towards the nearest dress shop.

"Do you have any idea of what we're looking for?" Lucas asked on the walk over there. Wednesday shook her head.

"I made this." She indicated her dress, knowing that it would be enough explanation for him.

"Ah." Lucas thought for a moment. "Well, I'll help you." He took the lead once again.

* * *

><p>"So, do you shop for dresses often?" Wednesday asked teasingly as Lucas held up two to her, with the bag containing his suit slung over his shoulder. He shook his head, and put them back.<p>

"Actually, yes. I have a lot of girl friends." He said without thinking, and though he'd had his back turned, he visualized something similar to the raised eyebrow that Wednesday displayed. "I have a lot of friends that are girls." He quickly clarified. Something clicked in Wednesday's mind.

"Wow, I don't know how I didn't pick up on that." She said mostly to herself as Lucas looked for another dress that wasn't neon.

"Pick up on what?" Lucas asked and decided against a navy dress.

"You're gay." Wednesday stated what she now believed to be the obvious. Lucas was certain that a cup of tea would be required for a proper response. "You write poetry and are good at clothes. Also, you just really don't seem like the type of man who would actually have sex with women." Wednesday specified. Now on the defensive side, Lucas decided to prove her wrong.

"Okay, first of all, lots of straight men have written poetry. Look at Edgar Allen Poe. Secondly, I would gladly have sex with you-" He immediately cut himself off, but the damage was done, and the look on Wednesday's face certainly did not convey the church choir singing Hallelujah in her head. "Not like we would ever have sex, I mean that would be absurd." Lucas stumbled over his words as he frantically searched for any dress in Wednesday's size.

"Completely absurd." Wednesday agreed. "I mean, gross, Stockholm Syndrome." Lucas stopped on the spot.

"I don't have Stockholm Syndrome." He grumbled and tried to look for something more specific after pulling out a little pink number that Wednesday would wear the day she became a Stepford Wife.

"Hate to break it to you, but yes, you do." She said unapologetically. "You are currently on a shopping trip with the woman who kidnapped you from a mall in Ohio. That's not Stockholm to you?"

"Nope," Lucas argued. "You should know that you give me more freedom than my father." He added, and Wednesday couldn't stifle a tiny laugh. Lucas smiled at the dress rack. "Perfect!" He handed the floor-length, black dress with corset ties in the back, to Wednesday. She approved of it within a quick glance.

"No matter, I would really appreciate if you didn't run off while I try this on." She went to the fitting room, hoping he really did have Stockholm's.

And of course, the dress fit like a glove, because apparently Lucas was a fashion wizard, and her few trips for simple, identical outfits in the past four years had still left her as, well, an Addams. But she had to give her fake husband credit, he did a fine job in picking out women's clothing.

"Is it good?" Wednesday heard Lucas call through the door, and she felt secret relief that he was still there. She unlocked the door and allowed him to see. He smiled that painfully adorable, dorky grin of his.

"I am so good." He playfully bragged.

"Yes, yes, you're fabulous." Wednesday feigned sarcasm, when in all actuality, it was a very true statement to her. "Can we leave now?" She asked, anxious to make him stop staring at her like...that. It made her wonder why her mother always wished to be the center of attention.

"Yes. We can just check out," Lucas started, and then finished after they'd started walking. "And then we can do some sight-seeing." Wednesday stopped.

"Who said anything about sight-seeing?" She asked.

"I did." Lucas said smugly. "This took no time at all, and I doubt you want to spend most of the day with your parents." Wednesday's eyes narrowed. "And considering you forcefully took me from the wonderful Willard, I think you owe me." He finished.

"I don't owe you anything. I could still shoot you if I wanted to." She said this close enough to the counter that the middle-aged woman that took Wednesday's credit card was almost as white as her. The pair silently agreed on waiting to continue their conversation until after Wednesday's dress had been bagged and they were outside, and out of earshot of the woman.

"You won't shoot me, because I'm your adoring husband, and your parents know that." Lucas said before spotting another hot dog vendor and practically skipping over to it. Wednesday caught up to him and paid the bored-looking New Yorker who handed Lucas his food.

"What exactly would this sight-seeing entail?" Wednesday asked before Lucas could take the first bite.

"Stuff." He said, and bit off a huge chunk. Wednesday rolled her eyes.

"Does this count as stuff?" She asked. With his mouth full, Lucas could only nod. "So, are we done here?" She asked. He quickly shook his head no. She gave an exasperated sigh. "Fine. What do you want to do, Lucas?" With all of the food in his mouth, the closed-mouth, devious smile from Lucas made him look a bit like a chipmunk.

* * *

><p>"Wednesday! Take my picture!" Lucas said like a child as he did a Superman pose in front of some theatre. The Lunt something.<p>

"Lucas, if I take anymore pictures of you, I won't have any memory on my phone. Besides, I don't even know why you would want reminders of this experience." Wednesday said sourly.

"Hey, I'm in New York, and how I got here is irrelevant." He approached Wednesday, and with a series of very fast motions, was able to get her phone out of her hands a lot easier than if she hadn't been carrying all of the bags at that point in time. Her stomach dropped at the three numbers he could very easily dial. "And as I recall," he spoke coyly, holding the phone out of Wednesday's reach. "We're supposed to be in love." He caught her off guard, grabbed her with one arm, held the phone in position, and took the picture while he was kissing her on the cheek. Wednesday punched him in the arm and grabbed the phone back.

"Jerk." She scolded as she went to view the picture. It featured Lucas being Lucas, grinning into the kiss, and her looking like she was taken off-guard. Accurate.

"Oh, that's a keeper." Lucas was looking over her shoulder.

"Yes, I suppose." She went back to the photo library. "But it's nothing compared to you in front of FAO Schwarz." She laughed once again at the picture of him grinning like a five-year-old.

"So you're having fun?" Lucas asked.

"This hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be." Wednesday admitted, and handed Lucas his portion of the bags, which was all but the dress.

"Well, we have time for one more thing before we head back, so I intend to make you smile some more." Lucas managed to hail a cab on his own, to his utter delight. Wednesday was rather amused when he told the driver they were going to the Central Park Zoo.

"What are you, ten?" Wednesday jokingly asked him.

"Actually, I'm eleven, I've never been to a zoo, and I want to see some tigers." Lucas retorted.

"Well, I'm twenty-two, and I'm banned from the zoo." She shot back nonchalantly. Lucas stared at her in silence for a few seconds before finally asking,

"Why?!" Wednesday smirked and began to tell him how to prepare penguin. He stopped her with, "Please tell me you're kidding."

"I could, but that would be a lie. I wasn't actually arrested, but that's due to a very large, 'anonymous' donation." Wednesday understandably seemed touchy about the subject.

"How old were you?" Lucas asked out of sheer curiosity.

"Thirteen." Not the least bit surprised, Lucas burst into laughter that ended abruptly when Wednesday glared at him.

"Sorry." He apologized while trying to return his breathing to normal.

"I'm sorry we can't go to the zoo." Wednesday replied and had the driver stop several blocks short. "Is walking through actual Central Park an experience?" She asked as the two walked along a pathway where people actually roamed with their children, and the trees were about as healthy as they could be. Lucas smiled and nodded.

"So, there's something I've been dying to ask all day." He started as they walked along.

"Go on." Wednesday said, expecting a question about clothes, how the house was in Central Park, or why Pugsley was such an idiot, but not,

"Who do you talk to when you're in school?" The question had caught her rather off-guard. It didn't confuse her; she knew he meant how she got along with people when she was, well, like this, and even without her hesitating to answer, she worried Lucas would see right through her and know how hard of a question this was for her.

"I have friends- in a sense. They know me about as well as you did when I kidnapped you." He nodded, realizing the stark contrast between the girl beside him now, and how others might have perceived her when she was in normal clothes, devoid of color; alone in a lecture hall.

"It sounds lonely." He sympathized. For some strange reason he couldn't rationally explain, he found his eyes wandering to other couples in the park. He really wanted to tell himself that it was because he too had been rather isolated in the past few years, starting with being completely barred from going to school in New York, but he knew this was untrue. He knew this all stemmed to the same feeling he got when Wednesday laughed, or when he looked into her beautiful brown eyes.

"It's not so- what? Why are you looking at me like that?" Wednesday asked him accusingly, and he practically felt the blood rushing to his cheeks. How manly.

"Nothing. Just, um, thought I had to sneeze." He lied horribly, but he guessed that's how his face had appeared before. Wednesday gave him a skeptical look.

"Anyways, thank you again for going along with this whole family party thing." She changed the subject. "I just have to warn you, the rest of my family is, kind of, well-"

"Also a part of your family?" Lucas asked. Wednesday nodded once, her lips pressed together tightly.

"If things get really bad, I know places where we can hide until they disperse." She seemed to be completely serious, and this caused them both to laugh. Their eyes met again, and their gazes lingered before they both turned their heads. They'd made it to the center of Bow Bridge, and both found themselves looking out over the park.

"So, we should probably be heading back." Lucas stated, not really knowing what time it was, and really, he didn't care about getting back to the house.

"Yeah. It has to be past five..." Wednesday's voice trailed off at the end of the sentence, and neither of the two really realized they'd completely turned towards each other until their eyes met again, and they both found themselves reaching for the other and kissing vigorously.

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><p><strong>And there you have it. What Child of a Broken Dawn has been pestering me for, for several weeks. I hope you all enjoyed. If not, still review. I live for the beautiful reviews because I do not understand the meaning of those "life" things. <strong>


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